Subject: Something I wonder about...about melons From: Captain Infinity Newsgroups: alt.fan.cecil-adams,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.religion.kibology Message-ID: <3616c09a.36842846@news-f.std.com> Every once in a while I buy a honeydew melon. Not often enough to know if the following is a common occurrence, but I've seen it at least a half-dozen times or more, enough to get me wondering. So today I whack the melon in half with the butcher knife, and there they are again; two of the internal seeds have burrowed their way from the inner hive through the meat of the fruit and are Heading For The Rim. They've made it about halfway, getting to the point where the meat starts to get fairly thick. They've traveled most of the way as a pair, but now it looks like the smaller one is breaking his own trail. But he lags a bit behind the larger, so maybe he's just lost? Perhaps the jostling I caused by tossing him in the shopping cart threw him off course? Perhaps the ride in the paper bag in the dark auto trunk caused him to lose sight of his leader? I would like to ask him, but alas, my swift stroke with the knife has cleaved him in twain. I shed a tiny tear for this brave adventurer, before flicking his bits out of the fruit, then plucking his worthy companion, and then scooping the rest of his lazy brothers and sisters from their comfortable and safe webbing at the central cocoon. Later, while snarfing down the melon, I am left wondering. Where did they think they were going? Did they have any idea how thick the rind would be? Did they know how long their journey would take them? How long had they been tunneling? How fast was their progress? Why *these two*, and none of the rest? Did I kill Icarus, or Daedalus? And what...and this I wonder most of all...what would they have done, what would they have thought, if they had made it "beyond the rim" into the new universe? ** Captain Infinity
Subject: Re: Something I wonder about...about melons From: beable Newsgroups: alt.fan.cecil-adams,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.religion.kibology,alt.science.joe-bay Message-ID: <6v74qm$r65$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com> In article <3616c09a.36842846@news-f.std.com>, Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity) wrote: > They've traveled most of the way as a pair, but now it looks like the > smaller one is breaking his own trail. But he lags a bit behind the > larger, so maybe he's just lost? Perhaps the jostling I caused by tossing > him in the shopping cart threw him off course? Perhaps the ride in the > paper bag in the dark auto trunk caused him to lose sight of his leader? > > I would like to ask him, but alas, my swift stroke with the knife has > cleaved him in twain. I shed a tiny tear for this brave adventurer, before > flicking his bits out of the fruit, then plucking his worthy companion, and > then scooping the rest of his lazy brothers and sisters from their > comfortable and safe webbing at the central cocoon. > i think you should apply for funding to perform a scientific experiment. every time you find these tunneling seeds, plant them and grow the resulting vine until it produces melons. take any tunneling seeds from these melons and grow them. after a few years of selection of this type, you should have developed the exploding melon. as soon as it gets anywhere near a supermarket, all the seeds explode forth in a deadly burst, hopefully killing a few of those "out the back" supermarket employees who make supermarkets such a thoroughly disgusting place to go once you have seen what they get up to, "out the back". you will be known as the grigor mendel of melons. your name will be forever recorded in history as the ted kazcinsky of genetics. cheers brian
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